


Sunset Beach

by wishbear



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, College AU, F/M, M/M, Multi, california based
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23780212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishbear/pseuds/wishbear
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak and Beverly Marsh never thought they’d be heading into college with their old best friends they had no memory of, but sometimes life doesn’t go the way you’ve planned.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Beverly Marsh/Bill Denbrough, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Comments: 14
Kudos: 42





	1. Beverly Marsh’s dread

Beverly Marsh steps out of her beaten up red truck and steps foot onto campus grounds. The overwhelming feeling of dread keeps hitting her every now and then as she walks around to explore. Her head feels heavy, and her feet burn as she continues to walk. It could be the fact that her shoes were worn down to the bone, or it could also be the mere fact that she does not want to enter college life. Though people around her seem happy, their faces brimmed with excitement and wonder as they wander their new campus. That’s how she should be, she thinks, as she resists the urge to pull out a cigarette. She’d have to be more careful with smoking now, which is one of many reasons she didn’t want to be here. 

For August, the weather is surprisingly nice. California has many promising features, but Beverly would rather ignore them and wallow in the self-pity she’s been feeling since she started the drive here. The sun is shining, but it feels like it might only be 80 degrees. There aren’t many clouds, and the sky is a breathtaking blue. Any other decent person would be thrilled to live in such a broad and beautiful state, but not Bev Marsh. Bev has to complain about every new thing that happens to her it seems. But nothing truly catches her eye until she sees a small brunette boy from the corner of her eye. She turns to look at him, and he looks familiar. It’s unsettling because she can’t seem to place a name to his face, but she feels the need to talk to him. He’s wearing a light yellow shirt that he’s practically swimming in and short green jean shorts. There are freckles on his nose, and he has big brown doe eyes. He somewhat resembles a deer, she thinks, but he certainly doesn’t act like one. He’s cursing as he picks up his pill bottle and shoves it back in his bag. He looks up and notices her. 

Her cheeks turn pink. She realizes she’s been staring at him for too long. She goes to turn back around, but he comes up to her. She’s somewhat intimidated, even though the boy can’t be more than 5’8.

“Do I know you?” he asks. He offers her a small smile, one she knows she’s seen before, and she fumbles for what to say next. 

“I think so because I think I know you,” she says. Her embarrassment continues to grow, and she isn’t quite sure if she’s going to make it to the end of this interaction. 

“Well, I’m Eddie Kaspbrak,” he says. That’s it. Eddie Kaspbrak from Derry. 

Her eyes immediately light up. She isn’t sure how she could’ve forgotten Eddie, as she thinks he might be the most unforgettable person in the world. Eddie kaspbrak was much more complicated than anyone Beverly had ever met, but they complimented each other well. They had more in common with each other than they would like to admit. 

“Eddie...of course. I’m Beverly Marsh, from Derry.”

Eddie’s face lights up. The same thing had clicked in his brain. He pulls her into a hug, and she accepts it as he starts to ramble. 

“Oh my god, it’s been so long...Holy shit...I mean, I don’t know how I could’ve forgotten about you...and the others! Oh my god! Have you been in contact with them?”

Her mind wanders as she tries to place names with faces in her mind. She hasn’t been in contact with anyone from Derry since the moment she left, which was probably a mistake. 

“I haven’t actually, but I assume you haven’t either.”

He pulls away from the hug and rubs the back of his neck. It’s weird to Eddie Kaspbrak grown up. He’s grown into his body it seems, and he seems comfortable in his own skin. He’s pretty, she thinks. Though, she has no desire to date Eddie Kaspbrak, as she thinks that could be counted as incest. 

“I wish I could’ve stayed in touch with everyone...I know it’s a lame excuse but I forgot. I don’t even know how, but I just...did. I moved two years after you did, and really everything in Derry just faded.”

Beverly knew the feeling. She thinks Derry might be cursed. It’s not normal to forget this much, especially if it’s not just her forgetting.

He shakes his head. “Whatever, it’s in the past. what’s up with you?”

Beverly pauses for a moment. She’s not entirely sure what’s up with her, besides the crippling fear of college.

“Nothing much.”

Eddie goes to bite his lip, but pulls out chapstick instead. It’s a habit eddie had even from middle school. Beverly remembered his habit of biting his lip whenever he’s stuck in conversation or feels anxious. Eddie always hated this trait of his, as his lip would sometimes start to bleed. It’s a habit beverly guessed he never recovered from. 

“i wanna explore california...wanna do that with me?”

Beverly knows she shouldn’t feel this nervous asking Eddie a simple question. There’s a part of her that thinks he could disappear again, as if he was a figment of her imagination to calm her nerves down. Beverly Marsh was not crazy, but she felt the nerves crawling up the back of her neck every time she thought about college.

“Oh, sure.” 

She can tell he’s nervous too. Eddie Kaspbrak never acts this tame. She figures he has a reason to be, that they both have a reason to be, as they haven’t spoken in five years. 

Beverly takes him to her truck. She’s ready to hear his incessant nagging about the mud on the floor of the truck, but he doesn’t say anything. He gets in and fumbles with the broken seat belt. He huffs and blows the hair out of his face as he finally gets it to latch. Beverly feels embarrassed. Her truck wasn’t much to look at, and the inside seemed worse. She knew Eddie must have a hundred insults for it whirling around in his head. 

She goes to turn on the radio, but reminds herself it’s broken. Sitting in silence with your brotherly figure you forgot about for years is not the situation Bev had hoped to be in. She looks and checks how much gas she has left. 

“...Shit. I need gas.”

Eddie shrugs and smiles. “Not a problem. We can get gas before exploring.”

She sighs and starts driving. Eddie’s quietly humming to himself, but she can’t pick up the tune. She goes back to focusing on her driving. California roads are different than anywhere else she’s lived. She can’t seem to tell whether she likes them better or not. They’re probably better for her rusty truck, but she does like the rigidness of the roads she’s used to. Bev Marsh likes adventures of all kinds, even the small ones. 

They get to the gas station. Eddie perks up and starts going through his bag. “I want snacks.”

Beverly cocked her head to the side. “You’re really going in there? This place looks like a dump.”

Eddie shrugs. “I’m going to get something to eat before I die, and you can’t stop me, mom.”

Beverly laughs. “I’ll come with then. Just let me get some gas first.”

“Got it, Miss Marsh.”

She quickly gets some gas for the truck and walks into the dump of a gas station with Eddie. She can tell Eddie’s holding his breath, even though he would never admit to it. He leads her down the soda aisle when someone seems to catch his eye. 

There’s a boy talking to himself. Or, more accurately, talking to two bottles of soda. He’s asking them which one he should take. To anyone else, this would be odd, but Eddie’s grinning. It doesn’t click as easily for Beverly until she starts studying him. He has long curly black hair that rests comfortably right as his chin, thick glasses, freckles, and a buttoned shirt that should be owned by a dad on a bowling team. Richie Tozier. Richie Tozier in California. 

Richie stops and looks over. His cheeks flush pink aa he puts the soda bottles down. “Just uh...Just trying to figure out what i’m in the mood for, you know?”

He flashes them a crooked smile. He’s messing with the mood ring on his finger. Eddie looks like he’s fallen in love, and the more Beverly remembers, the more she thinks that might actually be the case. 

Eddie walks over to him and smiles. “Richie Tozier. Fucking hell.”

Richie cocks his head to the side. “Do uh, do i know you?”

“Well, do you remember a guy named Eddie Kaspbrak?”

Richie seems to stop moving entirely. His entire body seems to tense up and freeze as he stares at Eddie. His face is red, and he looks like he’s about to cry or scream. Of joy. 

“Eds!”

Eddie closes his eyes and sighs heavily. “Let’s not bring that back.”

Richie hugs him tightly. Eddie stops and hugs back. Beverly watches as the two of them finally stop dancing around each other and start to talk. Eddie quickly discusses which school he and Bev are attending, and to everyone’s luck, Richie is going to the same school. 

Richie goes over to Beverly next. “Why, Miss Marsh, you made it all the way to California?”

Beverly laughs and punches his arm. “If you’re capable of it, then anyone is.”

Richie huffs. “We all know how smart i am.”

“Yes, we know,” Bev and Eddie say in unison. Richie’s intelligence was always a topic of discussion, and a very unneeded one of that. Bev thinks everyone’s gotta know how smart Richie is by now, it doesn’t have to be discussed anymore. 

“Anyways, i’ve got big Bill in the car with me. You remember him, don’t ya?”

Beverly stops and turns pink. Bill Denbrough. Bill Denbrough was the biggest almost in Beverly’s life. They almost got together, almost went on to have a relationship, but never did. Beverly spent an entire summer dancing around the fact she liked him instead of dating him. It was a shame really, but she never felt it was the right time to say it. Especially not with Ben as well. Ben really liked her, and she felt something for him. She wasn’t sure what, but it was something. She thinks part of the reason she never went for it with Bill was because she didn’t want to hurt Ben. 

“Bill Denbrough...Of course I remember him!”

Richie smiles. “Well, we were gonna head to Target to get some bathing suits and head to the beach. You two in?”

Eddie looks at Beverly. He looks like his jaw must be hurting from grinning. Beverly looks back at Richie. “Yeah, we’re in.”

So, after getting a couple snacks, they followed Richie and Bill to the beach. Eddie looks like he’s finally opening up, and Beverly can’t help but feel the same. Some of the pressure of college is off. She knows it might just be impossible for all of the losers to have picked the same college, but there’s a part of her that hopes it’s the case. 

Target was quick. Richie ran and got the most ridiculous pair of trunks they had, Eddie got yellow trunks that were hard to even look at, Bill got simple Hawaiian patterned trunks, and Bev got a simple red two piece. Bev knows she should be saving her money for things she truly needs, but swimwear has to be a necessity if you live in California. 

Bill slid into Bev’s car after they were done. Beverly stopped and looked at him. “Eddie was actually there.”

He shrugs and smiles. He pushes his glasses up. He doesn’t need them, but they make him feel more sophisticated. “I know. He wants to ride with Richie. S-So, I thought I’d ride wuh-with you.”

His stutter seems to be getting better. It’s easier to get the words out, and he doesn’t seem to be as frustrated getting sentences out. Beverly doesn’t comment on it, as she doesn’t mind his stutter, but she knows he has to be happier with it.

The ride with Bill is a little better than Beverly expected it to be. When he got the news that the radio was broken, he decided to sing on his own. Beverly got to hear Bill cover The Beach Boys and Nirvana. The songs didn’t go with each other, and none of them matched Bill’s voice, but he was singing nonetheless. Beverly Marsh was going to get her radio experience. 

They finally got to the beach about fifteen minutes later. The sun is getting closer to setting, and Eddie starts bitching about how they have to be back before it gets dark out. No one was going to listen to that. 

Beverly sets her towel down and looks out at the ocean in front of her. It was prettier than she could’ve imagined, as the calm waves hit the shore and soak her feet. All four of them seemed to stop in that moment to take it in. No one says a word as they lookout at the blue. This was their new life, this was the start of many memories they were going to make together. And that’s a lot to take in.


	2. The complexity of Eddie Kaspbrak’s Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie Kaspbrak’s mind never stops going, and it’s hard to tell if that’s a good thing or not.

Eddie’s head feels heavy as he walks out of class. His very first day of college classes could’ve gone worse, but his anxiety is heightened and he feels the urge to scream into a pillow. College is terrifying. His mother’s sheltering could have never prepared him for the strict life of a college kid. He doesn’t hate any of his professors yet, but he can tell that soon enough he will. The image that tv shows and movies give you of college is bullshit. It’s a landmine in there, and Eddie hopes he’s lucky enough to come out with both legs. 

Eddie walks back to his dorm room. Not long after the day at the beach, the losers had found out that Stan, Ben and Mike were also attending the same school. Eddie figures that has to be fate slapping them in the face. But the best part about it all is that Mike was his roommate. Eddie got to room with Mike Hanlon. Mike was easily one of Eddie’s favorite people.

When Eddie walks in, Mike is already smiling. Mike has one of the best smiles in the world, Eddie thinks. Mike Hanlon is someone that you want to hug. In Richie’s words, he’s built like a friend. 

Mike pats the bed, inviting Eddie over. Eddie sits down and sinks into the uncomfortable bed. He wishes they could’ve brought their own beds. He knows that’s not exactly how college works, but he sure does miss his own bed. 

“The first day of classes was amazing, Eddie! I’m already learning so much! And my history class has given me so much information already. History is my favorite class in the world. I love learning about the world and everything about it that shaped it into what it is today....I’m talking too much. How was your first day?”

Eddie opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. He’s not sure how to answer Mike’s question, really. His first day could’ve been much worse, but it didn’t exactly get him excited for college. He’s starting to feel somewhat envious of Mike’s experience with his classes. 

“It went alright. I don’t hate any teachers yet, which is a plus.”

Mike nods and smiles again. Mike has such an inviting smile. Eddie swears at one point he was in love with Mike Hanlon, because let’s face it, who wouldn’t be? Mike was boyfriend material, head to toe. Eddie feels his cheeks get hot as he thinks too much about it. He buries the thoughts into his brain and quickly starts to think about the girl he met in his Humanities class. Her name was Myra...something. Eddie is bad with names. She had long blond hair and blue eyes, and she was fixated on Eddie the moment they locked eyes. Part of Eddie wants to see how things go with her and get rid of the fear of his sexuality, but there’s another part of him that can’t stop thinking about Mike Hanlon’s smile, or Stanley Uris’ voice...or Richie Tozier’s everything. 

As Eddie snaps back into reality, he sees Mike looking at him with his head slightly cocked to the side. “You alright? You completely spaced out there.”

Eddie’s cheeks feel hot again. “I’m fine, thanks Mikey.”

Mike smiles again, and Eddie swears he might drop dead. Eddie Kaspbrak is not gay, he’s just confused. That’s the right way to put it. He’s always been somewhat confused by his feelings, but college already seems to be kicking it into full gear. He thinks Mike Hanlon’s smile and Richie Tozier’s existence are things to blame.

“We gotta get ready for the beach, eddie. I know it’s early, but if we’re the first ones there, then we can have bragging rights.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Bragging rights for getting there first? Bragging rights to make Richie Tozier, the king of being early, angry? I’m in.”

Richie doesn’t seem like the type to be early to everything, but he is. It’s mostly due to the fact that he loves to brag about getting there early and he thrives off of making a big deal about having to wait for everyone else. It’s Richie’s thing, really, and Eddie wants to shake things up. 

Mike and Eddie quickly get ready for the beach. Eddie grabs his bag and throws assortments of lotion, aloe, and sunscreen in. He quickly grabs him and Mike’s towels and shoves them into the bag. Mike starts laughing as he grabs his flip flops. “You’re dedicated to this!”

Eddie smirks as he grabs his own flip flops. “I never pass on the chance to one up Richie. Ever.”

They race to Mike’s car. Mike has a convertible, which he saved up for during high school. Eddie is in love with it, and he looks around every compartment in it as Mike drives. Eddie has a fascination with cars, which makes it even more disheartening that he doesn’t have one. His mother deemed them too dangerous, even though she drives him everywhere and nothing has ever happened. Eddie hasn’t had an ounce of freedom his entire life. Until now.

The beach is only fifteen minutes away. Living so close to the ocean has got to be the most freeing thing Eddie has ever experienced. He loves the beach and the ocean, and he feels the need to visit them both at least three times a week now that he has the luxury. California beaches are beautiful, as the ocean is bright blue and the sandy beaches are white and soft. All beaches are soft of course, but California has sand that you want to sink your feet into, no matter how messy. 

When they get there, Eddie runs out of the car and onto the beach. He kicks his flip flops off as he stares at the view. He’s forgotten about all his issues. He’s forgotten about his sexuality, Myra, his mom, everything. All that mattered at the moment was that Eddie was on the beach. His problems seemed like nothing now, and the chilling water hitting eddie’s feet every so often felt like comfort. 

Mike runs over to him. “You were eager then.”

Eddie laughs a little and smiles. “beaches are freeing. You can just say ‘fuck off’ to your problems when you’re here, because they don’t matter. Nothing matters. It’s such an escape from reality. I love it.”

Mike smiles. “That’s a nice way of thinking. And here i thought Bill was the writer.”

Eddie snorts. “I am not a writer by any means. I’m just an idiot.”

Eddie hears a car door slam and turns around. Richie is walking over with boxes of pizza, but he looks pissed. Not really pissed, but Richie pissed. Pissed Richie is one of the many bits Richie likes to play, and Eddie’s come to recognize it well.

“You guys are already here? Assholes!”

Eddie smirks as he walks over to Richie and grabs a pizza box. “It was so boring waiting for you guys. And pizza on the beach? We’re gonna get sand in the pizza and it’ll be gross. And California Pizza Kitchen? Isn’t that a little more expensive?”

Richie huffs. “First off, you’re welcome for the pizza, asshole. Second of all, don’t steal my bit. And third of all, we live in California now! It’d be weird for us to not have it, Eds! It’s got California in the name!”

Eddie sighs. “Again, it’s expensive. We’re broke college kids, if you don’t remember.”

Richie rolls his eyes. “I already have a job, so joke’s on you, idiot.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “You already have a job? Where do you work?”

“...California Pizza Kitchen.”

Eddie laughs. “You know, that makes sense. Just put the towels down and we can have a beach picnic, as gross as that sounds.”

Richie quickly goes and grabs the towels from Bev’s truck. Bev walks over and grabs a piece of pizza. “I can’t believe you guys got lucky enough to be dorm mates. I like my roommate of course, but you guys already know everything about each other!”

Mike smiles and nods. “I’m really lucky to have Eddie as a roommate. He’s so sweet. Did you know that he sleeps with his care bear in his arms?”

Eddie turns red. “Just for comfort reasons! It’s just a stuffed bear, okay?”

Beverly laughs and hands him a can of coke. “It’s okay, Eddie. That’s sweet. We all know how much you love that thing, and it’s cute. It’s like how Richie sleeps with his Gonzo toy that he’s had since he was six.”

Richie walks back over and stares at her. “Do secrets mean jack shit to you, Ringwald?”

She shrugs and bites into her pizza. “Oops.”

They all hang out for a little while before getting into the water. Eager as ever, Eddie’s the first one in. It’s cold at first, so much so that Eddie resists the urge to cry out, but when he gets used to it, it feels nice. His tensed up body relaxes as he floats around in the water. The waves aren’t too bad, and since Eddie has a genuine fear of being eaten alive by a wave and drowning, he’s thankful for that. Richie eventually swims over to him, smiling. He’s already been under the water, so he looks like a wet mop personified. But he still manages to look good in Eddie’s eyes. Eddie has never in his life seen Richie as anything but gorgeous. But he’s not gay though, it’s only a compliment on Richie’s appearance. 

Richie looks at the water and smiles. “It’s pretty. The sun is making the water sparkle, even if it is slowly setting. I don’t even have a joke for this experience. Fucking hell, I love it here.”

Eddie smiles and looks at him. “A whole three sentences with no jokes. California must really be something.”

“Oh, it is. I’ve never felt more happy and free. It’s so nice here, I don’t think I could ever leave now.”

Eddie agrees with him on that. This is the kind of moment Eddie wants to freeze in his head and look at forever. The image of the sun setting as him and Richie talk just how they used to almost seems too good to be true. There’s so much more Eddie wants to say, but he can’t find the words in this moment. Classes may very well be the bane of Eddie’s existence, but as long as he has the losers by his side, he thinks that he’ll be able to survive, and even enjoy, college life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not as happy with this chapter but it’s really just here as a way to establish Eddie’s internal conflicts


	3. Richie Tozier’s Love for Cpk...And Eddie Kaspbrak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie really thought he’d be over his crush right now. This crush had stemmed years ago, right around the time he truly figured out who he was. He was prepared for it to go away at some point, like a mouth sore you get from biting your cheek or a headache you try to cure with Advil. But it had stuck, and now that they’re in college, it’s in full swing. And Richie wasn’t quite sure how to handle it.

Richie thinks nothing could be better than working at the local CPK. The pizza was roughly one of the greatest and most serotonin boosting foods out there in his opinion. It’s a job that not even he could think of getting sick of. Okay, and there was also the added bonus that CPK was Eddie’s favorite pizza place and Eddie came by to say hi a lot. 

Richie really thought he’d be over his crush right now. This crush had stemmed years ago, right around the time he truly figured out who he was. He was prepared for it to go away at some point, like a mouth sore you get from biting your cheek or a headache you try to cure with Advil. But it had stuck, and now that they’re in college, it’s in full swing. And Richie wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. 

Nothing could stop Richie’s heart from racing as he noticed Eddie walking into the restaurant. Their eyes meet, and Eddie waves as he waits to be seated. Richie immediately calls being his server as Eddie sits down at a small table. 

“Eds! Here again disrupting my work. What could you possibly be needing today? A Dr. Pepper and a pepperoni pizza perhaps?”

Eddie laughs as he nods. “It’s impressive that you already have down my much complicated order.”

Richie smirks. “Pizza is the only time you’re ever predictable. I’ll go get your order in, then we can talk for awhile.”

“Don’t you have to do your job?”

Richie shrugs. “I’m on break. I just decided to take care of you first because I’m the greatest guy out there.”

Eddie smiles. “Thanks. And you’re so modest too. I will never know how you do it.”

Richie quickly gets Eddie his Dr. Pepper and puts in his order. “Don’t worry about this one, Eds. It’s on me.”

Eddie shakes his head. “No, i can pay for my own. Thank you.”

Richie groans. “But your birthday is coming up!”

“Yeah, in three months!”

Richie sighs. “Fine, fine. Anyways, what’s been up with you recently? We’ve all been so busy lately, it seems like I never get to see you.”

“Well, I did well on my last test which was good. I have to do a project for Humanities that I don’t want to do, but I’m partnered with this girl who just asked me out, actually.”

Richie feels his smile begin to fade, but quickly plasters it back on. He feels jealousy like he’s never felt it before. He doesn’t know this girl, but he knows that she hasn’t known Eddie for far as long as he has. Richie has had this growing crush on Eddie for years, even if he had forgotten about it. This girl couldn’t have had this crush for more than a month, if that. He feels his stomach twist as he clenches his fists in frustration.

“A girl asked you out? I thought this day would never come.”

Eddie laughs and rubs the back of his neck. “I wasn’t really expecting it either. She’s nice though. Her name is Myra, we’re in Humanities together. She has a lot of energy, and she’s very eager when she wants something. In this case...it was me.”

Richie can feel his blood start to boil. He swears he’s never felt rage like this before, like his entire body is shutting down and all he wants to do is tell Myra that she has to wait her turn. But that’s not fair, he thinks. Eddie isn’t a prize to be won, he’s a person. He’s also his best friend, and he should be happy for him instead of creating so much pent-up jealousy and resentment. It’s not like Richie never had the chance to ask Eddie out. He had had many chances, but he didn’t use them. That was his own fault.

“Well it’s...it’s great you’ve got a date. I’m happy for you and...Mira.”

“Myra, actually. But thank you.”

Richie looks around. “I’m uh, I’m gonna check on your order. You good here?”

Eddie nods. “Thanks, Rich.”

Richie runs off to check on Eddie’s order. His heart is pounding as he tries to calm himself down. He needs to be happy for Eddie, he needs to be. He was stupid to even think for a second Eddie would actually reciprocate these feelings. Richie thought since Eddie had never dated anyone in the past that maybe he had a shot, but reality continues to bring Richie back down from his constant daydreaming. 

He wants to call someone, but he’s not sure if anyone could possibly have the same problem he does. Most people in the world were rational, so it’s hard to really say who would understand Richie here. 

He unwraps the bag of skittles he had shoved in his pocket as he gives himself a moment to breathe. He’s lucky to have Eddie in his life, after all. Eddie Kaspbrak has got to be the best friend you could ever have, and this situation reminds Richie that he can’t take that for granted over a crush. 

Reality slowly sets in. He’s overreacting, so much to the point that he’s embarrassed of himself. There was no need for his stomach to twist or for his face to be burning out of pure rage. He takes calm, deep breaths as he puts his skittles away and waits for Eddie’s order. He lightly taps his foot as he looks around and absorbs himself in the multiple colors he sees. 

Yellow is prominent. Yellow is spread all over the place, from the menus to the logos to even the walls. The yellow on the walls is darker than the bright yellow shirt Eddie has on. Eddie wears that shirt at least twice a week, Richie thinks. Before he even realizes what’s happening, he’s fixated on Eddie again. 

He snaps out of it. Brown is the next color. The chairs and tables are all brown. Brown isn’t one of Richie’s favorites, since vibrant colors have always been his go to. Vibrant colors were more welcoming than your average black, white, brown and grey. 

Richie isn’t exactly sure how this fascination with colors began, and what’s really bewildering is the way it can calm him down in any situation. All he knows is that colors seem to make things better. He thinks he should take up painting or maybe start tie dying shirts, but some things require to much energy. 

Soon enough, Eddie’s pizza is ready. Richie walks over and hands it to him. “Does it look good or does it look good?”

Eddie laughs. “It looks great, thank you. I’m so glad you got a job here so I have an excuse to come here more often.”

Richie’s cheeks turn slightly pink. It wasn’t even a direct compliment. He is in trouble. The twist in his stomach begins to come back, and he quickly sits down and makes conversation to get rid of it. 

“Did I ever tell you that I found an episode of The Muppets Show that features Elton John?”

Eddie stops and looks up at him, his eyes wide. “Really?”

Richie nods and smiles. “If you’re interested in watching it, you could come to my dorm once I’m off work. I’m sure my super cool roommate Stan the man won’t mind.”

“That sounds great. I’ll be there.”

Take that, Myra. Do you think Myra could’ve found a clip of Elton John and Miss Piggy singing together? That was a Richie Tozier find. 

They talk for a little longer before Richie has to go to work again. Every once in awhile, he thinks about Eddie going on that date. He has never had jealousy issues until now, and they’re kicking him in the ass. He wants to apologize to Eddie, to apologize to himself, but he can’t find words and he assumes telling Eddie would only make things worse. So, the knot in his stomach and the excessive amount of skittles in his pockets can stay for now. If things were meant to work for him and Eddie, they would. So being patient and working on the jealousy is what he should focus on now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i know the chapter is short. i like making short chapters so i can move from pov to pov quicker so i don’t get tired or have writers block!


	4. The confusion in Mike Hanlon’s mind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike hasn’t thought about that. In all honesty, he just wanted to do a favor and help him. He has kissed many people in his lifetime, but never Eddie Kaspbrak. He hadn’t even thought about kissing him until this exact moment. He’s unclear about what Eddie wants him to say, but he can see Eddie driving his nails further into his thigh as he stares at Mike, waiting for whatever answer Mike could squeak out.

Mike steps into the dorm room after class and immediately notices something’s wrong. Eddie’s curled up in his blankets with a small care bear in his arms as he frantically types on his laptop. Mike notices two empty cans of cherry coke next to Eddie’s bed, which is something Eddie would never normally leave out. Old cans attract bugs, and as cool as bugs were outside, they aren’t welcomed guests in their dorm. 

Mike walks over to him. Eddie’s chewing on his lip, but he doesn’t seem to notice. Mike doesn’t even think Eddie notices he’s here. He looks focused, determined even.

“Eddie, you okay?”

Eddie jumps and looks up. “Holy shit, I didn’t even see you.”

Mike raises an eyebrow. “Whatcha up to?”

Eddie takes a deep breath. “okay, you can’t make fun of me. As much as you will want to. You’re gonna want to laugh your ass off but you can’t. Because right now, I am more stressed than I’ve been in a long fucking time and my anxiety is pretty much at it’s highest level.”

Mike smiles and sits down next to him. “I won’t make fun of you, Eddie. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

Eddie shuts his laptop. “I have never kissed anyone. Ever. I am eighteen years old and I have yet to kiss a person. And Myra will want me to kiss her and I don’t know how to do that. And I’m researching and nothing’s gonna work because I’ve never done it before! And she’s gonna be royally pissed if I don’t do it right. Am I going insane?”

His fingers linger on the closed laptop. Mike knows he’s ready to open it again and start tearing the internet apart until his anxiety is eased. Mike is a nurturer by heart, and he feels as if it’s his job or obligation to come up with something to resolve eddie’s conflict. He thinks for a minute, and settles on something he knows Eddie might just well say no to. But it doesn’t hurt to offer, he supposes. 

“If you’re having that much trouble figuring out how to kiss, i could help you.”

Eddie stops and stares at him. Mike can’t register the emotion eddie is conveying. He looks scared, but intrigued. Like there’s a part of him that doesn’t want to, but another part that really does. He goes to say something, but his mouth hangs open, and his fingers go from his laptop to his leg, where he starts to dig his nails into. He goes to chew on his lip, but stops himself, and brings his focus back to Mike. 

“So, you want us to kiss?”

Mike hasn’t thought about that. In all honesty, he just wanted to do a favor and help him. He has kissed many people in his lifetime, but never Eddie Kaspbrak. He hadn’t even thought about kissing him until this exact moment. He’s unclear about what Eddie wants him to say, but he can see Eddie driving his nails further into his thigh as he stares at Mike, waiting for whatever answer Mike could squeak out. 

“I mean, I just want to help you, Eddie. I know how to kiss, and I could tell you if you’re doing something wrong. Besides, your first kiss should be with someone you trust. You trust me, right?”

It’s a dumb question, really. Mike knows Eddie, and he knows how much Eddie trusts and admires him. Eddie’s been hanging onto Mike like an over-friendly stray cat you find while walking along the road. He looks up to Mike in almost every way possible, even though Mike knows just about as much about the world as Eddie does. 

“Of course I trust you. You know that. I just never thought you could be this kind...”

Mike lets out a laugh. “Sure you did. You know me like the back of your own hand. I’m a nurturer, Eddie.”

Eddie smiles and nods. “Yeah, yeah, of course. So, if you’re up for it, I’d really like if you were my first kiss.”

Mike smiles and gently cups Eddie’s face in his hands. It’s weird, but not as weird as it should be. He’ll stop at any moment if he sees Eddie’s discomfort, but Eddie doesn’t seem to be uncomfortable at all. In fact, he thinks Eddie may already be leaning into it. 

He’s starting to get nervous, and he doesn’t know why. Never in his life has he thought about kissing a boy, and now that he is, his mind is racing with questions. The biggest one on his mind, and the most worrisome one at that, is what if he likes it? What if he goes through a sexuality crisis? What if Eddie Kaspbrak is in fact the world’s best kisser? 

He slowly leans in and kisses Eddie. Eddie’s lips aren’t soft like how you would picture them, and you can tell he still chews on them everyday. But it’s not a bad kiss, even if the texture of Eddie’s lips are off. Eddie knows how to kiss, he must’ve done a shit ton of research. Mike almost doesn’t want to let go. Every worried thought he had about this experience is melting away, and he thinks he could die on these boy’s lips. It’s not weird anymore, it’s natural. 

Eddie’s the one to pull away. His cheeks are pink as he goes to rub the back of his neck and bite on his lip again. Mike is pushed back into reality, and his eyes are set on Eddie. 

“How was it?” Eddie asks. His hands are a bit shaky as he sets them back down to his sides. They’re both uncomfortable now, and Mike is pretty sure it’s because they both liked the kiss a little too much. He wonders if Eddie’s mind is racing like his is, and he’s wondering if everyone has had this experience before. God, he hopes so. 

“You’re a great kisser. You have definitely done your research. The only thing is that your lips have a weird texture because you chew on them so much. Invest in some chapstick, and you should be good to go.”

Eddie pulls Mike into a hug. It’s back to comfort again, and Mike’s unwanted feelings fade away into nothing, even if it’s just for a moment. He wishes he could read Eddie’s mind at the moment, but that’s the only complaint he has while Eddie’s arms are slung across him in this moment. 

But when Eddie pulls away and they lock eyes, Mike feels the dread come back to form a lump in the back of his throat. Eddie quickly gets up and takes his laptop with him. He runs out without another word, leaving Mike alone with his painfully dreadful thoughts. The next question about himself Mike has to tackle is probably the trickiest one in the book. Is he really straight?

He goes to his bed and pulls out his laptop. His mind is racing miles a minute as he tries to pull himself out of this hole in his brain. It was just a kiss. That’s all it was. But no kiss has made him feel like this. No kiss has sent him spiraling this far in his entire life. And he knows no matter how much research he does, he’s on his own when finding the answer to this question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shortest chapter yet, holy shit. but there is a lot to unpack in this chapter, so hopefully that makes up for it.


	5. Beverly Marsh’s Understanding Of Eddie Kaspbrak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie huffs, but picks up the skates nonetheless. He walks to Bev’s truck with her, which reeks of cigarettes. “You need some fucking air freshener in here, Bev. Jesus Christ. Cigarettes smell so gross. Let’s put aside how harmful they are for a second. They are literally disgusting. Why the fuck do you hate me, Bev?”

It’s 4 in the afternoon when Eddie barges into Beverly’s room, laptop and all. He looks green in the face, like he could pass out or vomit at any given moment. Beverly is used to seeing Eddie in a blind panic, his anxiety makes sure he stays that way half the time. He runs to Beverly’s bed, not even noticing Bev’s dorm mate, Kay. 

Beverly shuts her book and looks at him. “What’s the problem now? Still don’t know how to kiss Myra? It’s getting a little sad, Eddie.”

Eddie shakes his head. He reaches in his pocket and instinctively grabs his inhaler. Not that it would do any good, of course. He sharply inhales and settles down, but she can tell his mind is going faster than ever. His greenish tint seems to be becoming even more prominent.

“I kissed Mike. And I didn’t hate it. I liked it. I liked kissing him, and I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.”

Beverly smiles and grabs his hands. “That’s not a bad thing, Eddie. College is for experimenting! You’ve got nothing to worry about, I promise. You’re gonna be fine.”

Eddie stares at her for a minute. She knows that in his mind, he’s rejecting everything she just said to him. Sometimes Eddie can be a real pain in the ass, and he knows it too. 

“My mom would kill me, Bev.”

Beverly sighs and squeezes his hands. “She’s not here. She doesn’t control you anymore. You control yourself.”

He doesn’t respond. He looks like he’s two seconds from either fleeing or crying. Bev really isn’t good at the comfort thing, so she’s stuck watching him break down while she sits there, feeling like shit.

“You know what, Eds? I’m gonna cheer you up.”

She can tell he doesn’t believe her, but that makes her ten times more determined. She carefully pulls him up onto his feet. His hands are sweaty and he’s shaking a bit. God, get this boy some help. She digs under her bed and pulls out two pairs of roller skates. 

“Ever wonder why I’m broke as shit? I had a little money, and spent it on these fuckers. Yeah, not one pair, but two. One for me, and one for you. Was gonna wait for your birthday, but I’m tired of seeing you sad, and I want you to do something that will excite you and take your mind off of things.”

Eddie stares at the skates. “I don’t think you know me, Bev. I mean, this is so nice, really, but skates? They’re so dangerous if you don’t know how to operate them! And I don’t know how to operate them!”

She raises an eyebrow. “Operate? You’re such an old man. Come on, we’re going to my car.”

Eddie huffs, but picks up the skates nonetheless. He walks to Bev’s truck with her, which reeks of cigarettes. “You need some fucking air freshener in here, Bev. Jesus Christ. Cigarettes smell so gross. Let’s put aside how harmful they are for a second. They are literally disgusting. Why the fuck do you hate me, Bev?”

Beverly only laughs and starts up the dirty truck. She starts driving, smiling to herself. “Come on, Edger. There’s no radio, sing to me.”

He rolls his eyes and sits back in his seat, messing with the seatbelt that’s teared eight ways to Sunday. She knows that’ll be his next big rant, but she decides to silence him before it happens. She starts singing. And while Beverly Marsh is beautiful, her voice might as well be the exact opposite. It’s hard to listen to Your Song by Elton John when the singer’s voice is equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. 

Eddie huffs and plugs his ears. But she knows he’s smiling. Beverly Marsh is embracing her inner Richie Tozier to try to cheer him up, and it’s working. That’s a new trick to write down. Ways to cheer up Eddie? Be Richie Tozier, or at least act like him. 

They eventually get to the boardwalk. Eddie stares at her, and she thinks he may really be going into shock. “Let me get this straight. You expect me to be able to roller skate on the uneven surface of the boardwalk? With a shit ton of people watching me? You’re insane, Bev. I’m terrified.”

She rolls her eyes and gets out. She carefully slides on her skates, tying them bunny ear style. She looks at Eddie, who has yet to touch his skates. “Awe, need help tying them?”

Eddie glares at her. Defeated, he slides them on. They start moving under his feet, and he looks like he might have a heart attack. “Oh God. I hate this so much. Why are you making me do this?” Beverly rolls her eyes again and rolls over to him, grabbing his hands. “You do this, and I’ll buy you a pretzel from that Auntie Anne’s over there.”

That’s something Eddie simply can’t say no to. She’s got him at his weak spot. He groans and squeezes her hands. “Do not let me die.” Beverly laughs and slowly pulls him onto the boardwalk. “I would never, Edger. Now come on, let me show you how it’s done.”

He huffs and glares at her. “I don’t appreciate the nickname, you know? That’s worse than Eds. So much worse.” She shakes her head and giggles. “Hm...Eduardo. Edith. Ed, Edd and Eddy. Take your pick.”

He thinks for a minute. “I don’t hate Ed, Edd, and Eddy. It’s kind of cute.” She groans and pulls him further through the boardwalk. “Figures you would pick the nickname that’s longer than your actual name. Asshole.” Eddie laughs and starts becoming more confident in himself. He’s not relying on Beverly as much. “You know me, Bev. Now I gotta come up with a nickname for you. I’m thinking...Bert and Ernie or Betty.”

She stares at him. “Those are so bad, Eddie. At least come up with something close to my name! Bert and Ernie? Where did you come up with that?” Eddie shorts and lets go of one of Bev’s hands to cover his mouth. “Bert and Bev are the same kind of! And I was a Sesame Street kid!”

Beverly smiles and puts her arm down. “I’m sure that’s the only show you were allowed to watch. I dealt with that too. I used to sneak out of bed at the ripe age of three to sneak watch Spongebob Squarepants on the small as fuck Tv we had.”

Eddie smiles back. “I mean, I got to watch more when my dad was around. You know, the usual kid shows. But when he passed, my mom said Tv would kill me and make me die in my early twenties. Not exactly sure where the logic came from, but I was terrified of the Tv. Just watching a thirty minute long Sesame Street episode could send me into a panic. My childhood was weird as fuck.”

She smiles sadly. “You’re not the only one. But I used to sneak over to Bill’s and watch That 70s Show. We used to act out the Donna and Eric scenes because we thought we were them. It was so embarrassing. It was like role play, but with two fourteen year olds going through puberty.”

He snorts again, and pulls away from Bev’s other hand. He doesn’t even seem to notice. “Holy fucking shit, Bev.”

“I thought it was Bert and Ernie,” she says, scrunching her nose and sticking her tongue out. He laughs again, and stops when he finally realizes he’s skating on his own. His eyes lit up and he grins, turning back to meet her gaze. “Holy shit! Look at me! Bev, I’m skating! And I’m not dying!”

She claps for him. “Isn’t it great? And now you can skate around campus!” Eddie nods and looks down at his skates. They’re white with red wheels and red laces. There’s a rainbow on the side. Bev’s are bright blue with yellow laces and yellow wheels. They don’t exactly match, but they do look badass as they skate around the boardwalk. 

Eddie even manages to pull out his earbuds from his pocket. He hands Bev a bud and puts one in his own ear. They start listening to Tame Impala, one of Eddie’s favorite artists. He never openly admitted it, but every loser knew it. 

Bev grabs his hand and they roll around the boardwalk for a solid thirty minutes. The air has never felt better, and the ocean was the most beautiful thing either of them have ever seen. Bev looks at Eddie, and she’s hit with this overwhelming love for him. And it’s not romantic love at all, it’s completely platonic. It’s more of a sibling love than anything. She thinks Eddie could be her platonic soulmate, that he was always destined to be the brother that she never had. She wonders if he feels the same, but given the smile he has and the amount of times he’s squeezed her hand, she has somewhat of an idea. This wasn’t just her friend, this was her brother. And that in itself was the most comforting feeling in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my favorite chapter yet, so i really really hope you guys love it as much as i do <3 if somehow some of you aren’t from twitter, my @ is eddiescarebear and i talk about this fic a Lot if you wanna know more about it


	6. Eddie Kaspbrak’s First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Eddie’s defense, he didn’t mean to bring a cat back to the dorm with him. Sometimes, life just hits you with something unexpected. He isn’t exactly sure what he’s going to do about this new problem that fell into his lap, but he knew one thing for sure. He was keeping that cat. .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! this goes into some detail about Eddie’s experience and abuse that he went through with his mom!

In Eddie’s defense, he didn’t mean to bring a cat back to the dorm with him. Sometimes, life just hits you with something unexpected. He isn’t exactly sure what he’s going to do about this new problem that fell into his lap, but he knew one thing for sure. He was keeping that cat. 

He walks into him and Mike’s dorm room. He carefully sets down the bag, a drastic change from the many times he’d recklessly throw it onto his bed after class. Mike raises an eyebrow as the bag makes a sound. “You got something in there, Eddie?” Eddie stops and looks at Mike. Eddie is terrible at lying, you can practically see it through his teeth. And Mike was smarter than to believe whatever lie Eddie was going to come up with. Eddie takes a deep breath. “You cannot get mad at me, okay? What else was I supposed to do?” Mike stares at him. “Eddie, what did you bring here?”

Eddie pulls out a small calico kitten. It’s fur was white, orange and black, with patches of color all over. He smiles and holds it out to Mike, who’s already staring at him in disapproval. “Her name is Patches! I already took her to the vet too, who needs dinner for the next week when you have a kitty?” Mike shakes his head. “Eddie, no. You cannot keep that cat. If we get caught, we’ll get kicked out of school. I don’t want that, and I know for a fact you don’t want that. We’ll have to find it a new home.” Eddie can sense himself becoming frustrated, but he swallows it down, telling himself to stay calm and explain himself. “Look, we all have jobs now, right? And they’re not terrible paying jobs either. And there’s this little apartment I found that lets you have cats! We could like, all live there together! We could all be dorm mates! It would be an amazing experience.”

Mike stares at him. “A cramped apartment with seven people and a cat sounds like an amazing experience? I’m not following. And why can’t you just get the apartment?” Eddie groans. He hates when he isn’t being heard properly. “Mike, listen to me. We would all be together, like we always wanted to be. And we would have a cat! I have to get ready for my date but just...think about it, okay?”

Mike sighs and picks up the cat. “You already got it a collar?” Eddie nods and smiles. “And her name is Patches, and you can watch her for the night.” Mike bites his lip and nods. “Fine. I’ll consider it. I can tell how much this means to you.” Eddie hugs him tightly before grabbing his outfit he’s planned for his date. It’s nothing fancy, just a black shirt and jeans. Eddie doesn’t know how to dress fancy, but he figures he has a couple years before he really has to worry about it. 

He quickly changes and runs out, realizing he’s already late. He runs to Myra’s dorm, his heart beating almost out of his chest. He quickly knocks on the door, kicking himself for being late. Myra opens the door and crosses her arms. She could look worse, he thinks, but it’s clear neither of them were in proper attire for a first date. She taps her foot and stares at him. “Late to your very first date? That’s not exactly gentleman like.” He closes his eyes and starts to run through his words like a jogger in a marathon. “I’m sorry I’m so sorry I had this thing and then I had to get the thing home and I didn’t even see the time and I’m sorry.”

She’s not convinced. She rolls her eyes. “You’re disappointing already, you know that? You’re a disappointment. You always here about women having awful dates, but that’s not supposed to be me. You know how long I’ve been waiting for you? Five minutes. That’s gross, you know that right? It shouldn’t take a man that long to come get a girl for their first date. It makes me even wanna reconsider having the date at all. But maybe you’ll pick yourself back up.” 

Eddie feels like he’s going to pass out or vomit. Maybe both at the same time. He wants to run away and get as far away from her as possible, but instead he just stares at her, his mouth somewhat gaping open. He was already terrified of her. He thinks she could walk over him in those ridiculous heels she’s wearing that makes her tower over him. It’s a bad day to be short. After what felt like an hour, Eddie finally manages to get words out. “I’m sorry,” he says, though she probably couldn’t hear it. He was mumbling, maybe even whispering. He hadn’t felt fear like this since his mother. 

Myra grabs his wrist and leads him out to her car. “Ow, uh, you’re hurting me.” She raises an eyebrow. “You’re quite the pussy, Eddie. I’m just a girl, I couldn’t do anything to you.” Eddie couldn’t even begin to explain everything wrong with that statement. His hands are starting to shake as he thinks about his mom. He can’t go through that again, and he knows he doesn’t have to. He thinks of the others, and his stomach twists. He has to vomit, or else he’s going to explode. He looks at Myra before running off. He can’t do it again, and he knows that. There were a million voices telling him to go back to her, but he didn’t listen. He couldn’t listen. California was his escape, he couldn’t fall into the trap again. He runs all the way to California Pizza Kitchen. He doesn’t even wait to be seated, he just sits in his usual spot, that was thankfully open, and waits for Richie to spot him.

Richie does pretty quickly, to Eddie’s relief. He immediately runs over, almost slipping due to his heelys that he insisted on owning. He sat down next to him. “Hey, hey, aren’t you supposed to be at your date?” Eddie shakes his head and plays with a sugar packet. “She was my mother, Rich. I got there late and it was just...it was awful. And she grabbed my wrist so tight that I thought I was gonna lose blood flow. She’s fucking terrifying, and I couldn’t do it again. Not when I have so many other options in life. I can’t go right back to the thing I was running from.”

Richie stares at him for a minute before hugging him. It’s weird, although hugs between them shouldn’t be weird. But they’re both stiff, scared even, and that feeling of comfort they had for each other has been somewhat tainted by something. There’s something Eddie knows that he doesn’t want to admit, and there’s a part of him that hopes that Richie is going through the same thing. But for now, everything goes unsaid. They both know there’s a better time. 

Richie pulls away. “Eds, I know I’m usually not good at the comfort kind of thing, but I want you to know that you are so strong. You fought for yourself! I know you have trouble doing that. I mean, I know you like the back of my hand. But the losers? We’ve got you. We’re all here for you, and you’re going to be fine. I promise you. I’m so proud of you.”

Eddie feels like he could cry. Sappy Richie was something he needed to see more of. Eddie could feel the love shining at him right through those hideous glasses and crooked smile. There were butterflies in his stomach, and Eddie knows he has to stop staring to make it go away. He nods and rubs the back of his neck. “I like sappy Richie, he makes me feel good.” Richie wrinkles up his nose. “Oh, gross. He’s gotta go away then.”

Eddie laughs and punches his arm. Richie winks and gets up to get him a Dr. Pepper and put in his pizza order. Realization is settling into Eddie’s stomach. He knew he was gay, but having feelings for Richie? That was a whole other ballpark. And this was going to be the scariest game of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve been working on this baby for months now! i cannot believe the first chapter is finally done! i’ll try to be consistent with updating, but seeing how long just the first chapter took me, i’m not sure if i’ll be able to do that. inspo hits at weird times. but thank you for reading! this fic is my baby and i’m really excited to finally be showing it off!


End file.
